If you happened to read my Tuesday’s post, you know my baby girl, who is on the verge of turning three, has three big loveys in her life: blankie, paci, and bear. And I, nor she, are in any rush to give them up. Still, the question creeps in from time to time…Should I ditch the paci?
With my firstborn, my son, I felt pressured to wean him by a certain age. Mostly because I was a first time Mom and Pediatrician and felt I should do things “right”. So I was all proud as could be when his paci was completely weaned by the time he was two. Even at that age I felt I waited too long.
Well guess what went along with the pacifier? Nap time. Now I would NOT call that a success story. I would call that a painful mistake. He never went back to his daytime naps after that. Why oh why did I hold firm? I should have just gone out and bought another one.
Now, here I am, a bit more experienced. More comfortable with my mothering and doctoring abilities. The Mom side of me knows the comfort it provides my daughter while the Doctor side still wants to make sure I’m not overlooking any potential harm.
So in my effort to answer my own question, I’ve decided to have a conversation about the paci…with myself. Yes you heard me right…Mom and Doctor discussing the whole pacifier issue. Bear with me, it should be good…
Melissa: Do you think it’s time to wean my daughter from the pacifier?
Dr.Mom: Why? Does her pacifier use bother you?
Melissa: No, not really.
Dr.Mom: Does it bother your daughter?
Melissa: No. Actually, it is a great comfort to her.
Dr.Mom: What is your concern about the pacifier?
Melissa: Well, I’ve read that it can interfere with speech development.
Dr.Mom: Does your daughter have her pacifier in her mouth all day?
Melissa: No, she only uses it for nap, bedtime, and car rides.
Dr.Mom: And, have you noticed any impairment of her speech?
Melissa: No, she’s quite the talker.
Dr.Mom: Okay then…
Melissa: Well, I’ve also heard that it can effect the development of her teeth, is she going to have crooked teeth?
Dr.Mom: Well, she might but then again, she might not. The changes are usually temporary and self correct once the pacifier is no longer in use.
Melissa: Okay then…I won’t worry about it anymore.
Dr.Mom: One last thought Melissa
Melissa: Yes, Dr.Mom?
Dr.Mom: Honestly, when is the last time you’ve seen a child walk in to kindergarten with a pacifier in her mouth?
So there you have it…no I’m not going to ditch the paci…not for now anyway. I’m sure the day she’ll have to give it up to the paci fairy is just around the corner. I’ll let her lead the way and we’ll see how things go. It’s one of her comforts and as far as I can see, there is no harm…only comfort.
I really love how Joey from Big Teeth & Clouds put it: “…hang onto whatever she needs. Life is tough, we should use what we can to get by”. Fantastic point Joey and I couldn’t agree more.
So, tell me, what do you think? Did you feel pressure to ditch the pacifier by a certain age? If so, what did you do?
My son loved his paci.
I made him give it up right at age 3. There are so many kids that have to get orthodontia now and it's so expensive…to me it was not worth risking any further use. We had a rough few days but overall it was an easy transition. I think sometimes we moms are more dependent on the paci than the child actually is. We believe it's going to be this horrible, scarring experience and that we are denying children the comfort they need. Well, he still had his bear, and all of his other cuddly things, and he did just fine. I was pleased to no longer have him drooling all over the place, too.
One of my daughter, who's now 5,'s good friends was using his paci up until a month ago. So yes, there are kindergarteners with pacis. It got to the point that I think she was just fearful of what would happen if she took it away. When he showed up for the 4 year old preschool class with a paci in his mouth? He was the only one with a paci. I think once a kid is in a preschool situation and starting to do kindergarten readiness…it needs to go.
That's just my two cents and respect that every mom needs to do what works.
My son loved his paci.
I made him give it up right at age 3. There are so many kids that have to get orthodontia now and it's so expensive…to me it was not worth risking any further use. We had a rough few days but overall it was an easy transition. I think sometimes we moms are more dependent on the paci than the child actually is. We believe it's going to be this horrible, scarring experience and that we are denying children the comfort they need. Well, he still had his bear, and all of his other cuddly things, and he did just fine. I was pleased to no longer have him drooling all over the place, too.
One of my daughter, who's now 5,'s good friends was using his paci up until a month ago. So yes, there are kindergarteners with pacis. It got to the point that I think she was just fearful of what would happen if she took it away. When he showed up for the 4 year old preschool class with a paci in his mouth? He was the only one with a paci. I think once a kid is in a preschool situation and starting to do kindergarten readiness…it needs to go.
That's just my two cents and respect that every mom needs to do what works.
My kids have never taken to the paci–thanks goodness but I did have to wean them from bottles ..but it gets easier with more kids and taking away some of the comforts.
My kids have had speech issues
My kids have never taken to the paci–thanks goodness but I did have to wean them from bottles ..but it gets easier with more kids and taking away some of the comforts.
My kids have had speech issues
Amen!! I feel like you to an extent…not a doctor, but in the medical profession and I do know the “rights” don't always lineup with what mother thinks is best. My daughter is just shy of 2 1/2 years and has her binky for naps and bedtime, and when she is upset or gets hurt she will ask for it. My hubby thinks it's so awful that she still has it and I am not concerned one bit. She will give that up when she is ready, just as she did breastfeeding (at 12 months) and her evening bottle at 16 months. Thanks for writing this post! I had to read it aloud to my hubby so I could say “Seeeeee…she's a pediatrician and doesn't think it's a big deal either!”
Have a great weekend!
Amen!! I feel like you to an extent…not a doctor, but in the medical profession and I do know the “rights” don't always lineup with what mother thinks is best. My daughter is just shy of 2 1/2 years and has her binky for naps and bedtime, and when she is upset or gets hurt she will ask for it. My hubby thinks it's so awful that she still has it and I am not concerned one bit. She will give that up when she is ready, just as she did breastfeeding (at 12 months) and her evening bottle at 16 months. Thanks for writing this post! I had to read it aloud to my hubby so I could say “Seeeeee…she's a pediatrician and doesn't think it's a big deal either!”
Have a great weekend!
I agree with Joey too! These little guys need their soothing tools. If they don't have help, problems can come about. The fact that your daughter is pretty limited in when she uses the paci is a great sign that she'll wean off it when she's ready too. I bet it'll happen in preschool.
I agree with Joey too! These little guys need their soothing tools. If they don't have help, problems can come about. The fact that your daughter is pretty limited in when she uses the paci is a great sign that she'll wean off it when she's ready too. I bet it'll happen in preschool.
With Ellie I felt like I needed to rip the paci from her mouth the second she turned one. She ended up kind of self weaning right before 18 months.
With Madeline, eh. She has only ever had it in her crib and in the car so I'm not sure she's *that* attached, we'll just play it by ear.
As an embarassing sidenote, last summer right before Madeline was born we were shopping at Macy's. Ellie was almost 2.5 and walking. We saw a maybe 3 year old riding in a stroller with a pacifier. As loud as she could be Ellie asked me, “Why is that BIG KID riding in a baby stroller sucking on a paci?!?!”
I wanted to dive in the clothing racks! But with all of the new baby prep that was going on at our house, it was a totally valid question. 😉
I love your inner dialogue. I discontinued the paci for both of my babies and was not happy about doing it. Immediately after I stopped breastfeeding, they both started to develop ear infections back to back. After a little investigation, I tried discontinuing the paci and no ear infections any more, ever. Had that problem not happened, I would have kept the paci around a lot longer!
I love your inner dialogue. I discontinued the paci for both of my babies and was not happy about doing it. Immediately after I stopped breastfeeding, they both started to develop ear infections back to back. After a little investigation, I tried discontinuing the paci and no ear infections any more, ever. Had that problem not happened, I would have kept the paci around a lot longer!
It drives me crazy how mothers constantly feel judged. Why do strangers feel that can openly judge and comment on our mothering capabilities? Luckily, as a pediatrician, you can use that fact to hush anyone who questions your abilities.
None of my kids had the pacifier for very long (I was trying so hard to be a “good” mom). But, with my youngest, I really wished she would. She cried a lot. But anytime I tried to give her a pacifier, she would gag (and occasionally spit up). She had no trouble with bottles, only the pacifier.
It drives me crazy how mothers constantly feel judged. Why do strangers feel that can openly judge and comment on our mothering capabilities? Luckily, as a pediatrician, you can use that fact to hush anyone who questions your abilities.
None of my kids had the pacifier for very long (I was trying so hard to be a “good” mom). But, with my youngest, I really wished she would. She cried a lot. But anytime I tried to give her a pacifier, she would gag (and occasionally spit up). She had no trouble with bottles, only the pacifier.
Thanks to you Miss Mikayla still has her paci to this day. Remember not to long ago I asked, “Sis..when should I wean her?” I was feeling pressured…it is true there is pressure from other surrounding mother's, in-laws,etc who always feel it's their right to tell you when is when. I am just lucky enough to have a sis who is a pediatrician to say, “Well I talked to my sis the pediatrician, and she said…..”…lol..it always shuts them up. So thank you for this post and thank you for choosing your calling to become not only a mommy but a pediatrician it has helped me out more than you realize…lol:)
I'll be back soon to read this one – but I just wanted to tell you – I tagged you!!! Read this post …
http://fromchaoscomeshappiness.blogspot.com/2010/08/tag-youre-kidding-me-right.html
and if you want to play along, please do!! (I usually don't do this stuff, but just thought I would this time!!)
I'll be back soon to read this one – but I just wanted to tell you – I tagged you!!! Read this post …
http://fromchaoscomeshappiness.blogspot.com/2010/08/tag-youre-kidding-me-right.html
and if you want to play along, please do!! (I usually don't do this stuff, but just thought I would this time!!)
Ah, such a hard decision! Out of the 4, we only had to face paci weaning once – with #3. It wasn't easy. Ultimately we made the decision to do so because her front teeth were beginning to protrude quite badly. They have since corrected on her own thankfully. I will say that her nap quickly disappeared along with the paci. Such a bummer! She's still got her blankie though!
Ah, such a hard decision! Out of the 4, we only had to face paci weaning once – with #3. It wasn't easy. Ultimately we made the decision to do so because her front teeth were beginning to protrude quite badly. They have since corrected on her own thankfully. I will say that her nap quickly disappeared along with the paci. Such a bummer! She's still got her blankie though!
I am not a pediatrician, dentist, or speech therapist, but I know that the paci will save your life when you're stuck in traffic and that kid needs a nap!
I am not a pediatrician, dentist, or speech therapist, but I know that the paci will save your life when you're stuck in traffic and that kid needs a nap!
Actually, it wasn't a problem for me … neither of my kids would take a pacifier. My daughter much preferred her thumb and my son had a host of feeding issues (oral aversion because of his CF) that made him not want anything near his mouth. So, I never had to face the pacifier dilemma… still, having said that I think that Dr. Mom gave Melissa very good advice. ;0)
Actually, it wasn't a problem for me … neither of my kids would take a pacifier. My daughter much preferred her thumb and my son had a host of feeding issues (oral aversion because of his CF) that made him not want anything near his mouth. So, I never had to face the pacifier dilemma… still, having said that I think that Dr. Mom gave Melissa very good advice. ;0)
My daughter never took to a paci but bottles well that's another story. She's 2 and a half and instead of weaning herself off them she seemed to be asking for them more often??? This week I decided it was time to get rid of them altogether – her milk consumption was interfering with her meals and she was getting fussier and fussier with food.
It was a hard decision, I felt like I was taking her only bit of comfort away but you know what she grizzled a little and then she got over it and started eating better. I've been totally amazed at how quick she had moved on.
At the end of the day comfort comes from being loved – so long as my little girl gets plenty of hugs and attention she's fine bottle or no bottle.
My daughter never took to a paci but bottles well that's another story. She's 2 and a half and instead of weaning herself off them she seemed to be asking for them more often??? This week I decided it was time to get rid of them altogether – her milk consumption was interfering with her meals and she was getting fussier and fussier with food.
It was a hard decision, I felt like I was taking her only bit of comfort away but you know what she grizzled a little and then she got over it and started eating better. I've been totally amazed at how quick she had moved on.
At the end of the day comfort comes from being loved – so long as my little girl gets plenty of hugs and attention she's fine bottle or no bottle.
I believe each child and situation is different and we moms need to do what works for each one. I did feel pressure to get rid of my kid's paci's. I learned (from other issues – potty being one) that we need to tune those people out and do what is best for us. I will say though, you will need to be prepared for 'the looks' in public. You know they are there. People will stare and comment. But just remember that you are doing what is best for you. Like you said I have never seen a child bring a paci to kindergarten!
I believe each child and situation is different and we moms need to do what works for each one. I did feel pressure to get rid of my kid's paci's. I learned (from other issues – potty being one) that we need to tune those people out and do what is best for us. I will say though, you will need to be prepared for 'the looks' in public. You know they are there. People will stare and comment. But just remember that you are doing what is best for you. Like you said I have never seen a child bring a paci to kindergarten!
It's honestly not a big deal. Some children (and parents) need to hang on to things longer. While we did get rid of the pacifier early, we definitely hung onto other things longer (like sippy cups).
Anytime I was discouraged about how transitions were going (bottle weaning, pacifier weaning, potty training, etc.), my mother would say, It's okay, very few children go to college in diapers and a bottle.
It's honestly not a big deal. Some children (and parents) need to hang on to things longer. While we did get rid of the pacifier early, we definitely hung onto other things longer (like sippy cups).
Anytime I was discouraged about how transitions were going (bottle weaning, pacifier weaning, potty training, etc.), my mother would say, It's okay, very few children go to college in diapers and a bottle.
Oh, Dr. Mom. You sooo put my mind at rest. My little boy loves his blanket and his paci. Over the past few months, I think he has become even more attached. My main concern, besides the social stigma that's out there, is that my son would get buck teeth. My in-laws (gotta love them) swear his teeth do look buck. For now, I'm going to continue letting him have the paci for sleeptime and not worry about it. You've definitely calmed my fears.
Oh, Dr. Mom. You sooo put my mind at rest. My little boy loves his blanket and his paci. Over the past few months, I think he has become even more attached. My main concern, besides the social stigma that's out there, is that my son would get buck teeth. My in-laws (gotta love them) swear his teeth do look buck. For now, I'm going to continue letting him have the paci for sleeptime and not worry about it. You've definitely calmed my fears.
You know what my thing about pacifiers is? I don't want my kids sucking their thumbs. I sucked mine until I was about 11 years old and it screwed my teeth up. I'd MUCH rather my kids have a paci until they're 5 and then get rid of it.
You know what my thing about pacifiers is? I don't want my kids sucking their thumbs. I sucked mine until I was about 11 years old and it screwed my teeth up. I'd MUCH rather my kids have a paci until they're 5 and then get rid of it.
I totally agree!! I will never forget what the ped told me – “you can always throw a pacifier out, but you can't cut off their thumb!”
Yeah, it stuck with me. LOL
I totally agree!! I will never forget what the ped told me – “you can always throw a pacifier out, but you can't cut off their thumb!”
Yeah, it stuck with me. LOL
I read in some parenting book that it would be very easy to get rid of the pacifier at 7 months. My daughter wasn't really that into it, so I took it from her then. She didn't put up much of a fuss over it.
I sucked my thumb until I was 4. My daughter seems to need the relief of chewing on something, but we've had difficulty finding something appropriate. I don't know whether or not longer pacifier use would have made any difference, but I agree – she'll ditch it before the bus comes for sure.
Definitely keep it!! My boys all gave it to me around 4. It was my lifesaver! I finally learned by my youngest to get the little attachment that keeps it on his shirt. We lost so many and had such traumas! Esp with my oldest.
Definitely keep it!! My boys all gave it to me around 4. It was my lifesaver! I finally learned by my youngest to get the little attachment that keeps it on his shirt. We lost so many and had such traumas! Esp with my oldest.
Two of my boys had paci's and I took them at three months. But, replaced the paci with extra nursing sessions.
I think, as moms, we sweat the small stuff too much. Why take it if it's not bothering either of you? Good call!
Two of my boys had paci's and I took them at three months. But, replaced the paci with extra nursing sessions.
I think, as moms, we sweat the small stuff too much. Why take it if it's not bothering either of you? Good call!
Mungee never really took to the pacifier. It always fell out of her mouth and just agitated her more than soothed. She takes great comfort in sucking her thumb. I'm not sure how or when we'll break that habit, but I am okay with it for now.
My 3.5-yr old still wants her paci. She started having night terrors a few months back…so we started giving it to her at night again.
The tricky part is that her lil sister is only 2 and gets to have a paci. The older girl always steals it from her…so I find myself either giving to both or neither.
-Nanette
My 3.5-yr old still wants her paci. She started having night terrors a few months back…so we started giving it to her at night again.
The tricky part is that her lil sister is only 2 and gets to have a paci. The older girl always steals it from her…so I find myself either giving to both or neither.
-Nanette
i am so happy that you posted this. i needed to have the same conversation with Dr. Mom. My daughter is also almost 3 and it doesn't bother me that she still uses it for naptime and bedtime, but every one else in the world seems to think i need to take it away from her. she sleeps in her own bed, all night and the paci is what comforts her when i can't. i love that she has something that makes her feel better if she needs it.
we're planning on trying the paci fairy technique too. one day when she tells us she's ready, we'll try.
i am so happy that you posted this. i needed to have the same conversation with Dr. Mom. My daughter is also almost 3 and it doesn't bother me that she still uses it for naptime and bedtime, but every one else in the world seems to think i need to take it away from her. she sleeps in her own bed, all night and the paci is what comforts her when i can't. i love that she has something that makes her feel better if she needs it.
we're planning on trying the paci fairy technique too. one day when she tells us she's ready, we'll try.