It’s a terrible feeling…to be disappointed in your child.
A terrible feeling.
He could see it in my eyes and hear it in my voice as he bared his soul to me that night.
Yes, still my sweet boy…but different. Growing, learning, stumbling.
Stumbling.
His honesty pierced right through and kind of broke my heart. He’s no longer my innocent child, needing protection from the world.
And yet…he still is…and does.
All at once I was proud, disappointed, heart broken, mournful, and empathetic towards him. We both were awash with overwhelming emotion.
“Growing up is hard.” I offered. He agreed through uncontrollable sobs, his huge brown eyes searching mine for some answers.
Still my sweet and kind hearted boy. Tiny missteps on his way to growing up.
Tiny but not inconsequential. Important lessons to be learned about kindness, respect, and strength of character. Only six and here I am impressing upon him the importance of making his own good choices and not buckling to peer pressure.
He’s only six.
But it matters. He knows it and I know it.
I want to take him in my arms and just hold him, reassure him, tell him everything is okay. But I can’t just yet…he has to process it all. Must feel the emotions overtaking him at the moment.
So hard to just lie there next to him and watch with tears streaming down my own face.
He’s growing up and time won’t stop for us.
We are both mourning the loss of his former self to make room for growth.
The core of who he is, this is what we must nurture and protect; while simultaneously encouraging him to discover, grow, and evolve.
I’m stumbling right along with him…hoping we get it mostly right.
Parenting is hard. That is all. What caused you to stumble this week?
Wow, really great post.
Thank you. This really spoke to me today.
I tweeted this, but now want to tell you personally…what a beautiful and heartwarming post. And how lucky your son is to have such a caring mom!
I hear you. Growing with them is hard, watching them have to learn the hard lessons and not being able to step in. Sigh.
wow. i really appreciated you sharing this today. what a heartfelt post that i can absolutely relate to.
Beautifully said.
I so hear you. I posted about the exact same thing today. You are NOT wrong.
Hugs!!
Okay Melissa…stand still….here is a great big mom-friend HUG!
I have to say that for me, this is the hardest part of parenting. I want to take the pain from my kids to keep them from hurting when they make choices that are not the best. But, allowing them this hurt helps them to grow to be a person of character.
As a parent, seeing them have victory in these mis-steps lets us know that they are slowly maturing and will succeed in making better choices down the line.
Hang in there Mom – you are doing a great job!
~ Paula
You know what? You're not stumbling — you are climbing up the mountain with him, over both the rocks and the smooth paths.
It is so hard to see those missteps, to see them hurt as they learn. But you're right, you're making room for growth.
This may be my new favorite post. Hugs from a mom who's been there so often!
Thank you for the kind comments and virtual hugs…it really does help.
Yeah, I guess the road to growing up isn't always so smooth, is it? He's a lovely boy with a big heart…I hope I do my part in continuing to nurture that.
wow!!…. parenting is hard.. really hard….
He is lucky to have such a caring loving mom like you.
thanks for sharing Melissa!
Geez! This is SAD! Now I want to keep the Crazies at this nutty age forever (and I'm not the kind of person to want to hold them back…I just hate when they're sad).
Oh, this is so beautiful, and so heart-wrenching. I love the way you shared – protecting the privacy of your little man, and yet sharing the journey in a way that we can all relate to. As cliche as this is gong to sound, it reminds me of the struggle of the catepillar-turned-butterfly breaking free from the chrysalis – absolutely needing the struggle so that his wings will be strong enough to take flight. Hard… but good. *sniff* You're such a great mom, and your growing young man is so blessed to have you. x
Dear Melissa
This was so beautifully written, from the heart and struck a chord… As i too stumble with my son who is 7.
Hugs,
Rajka
Parenting is hard. It's incredibly difficult to watch them grow up. It happens so quickly!
I am teary over this…well, you know I'm teary anyway these days! But I can so vividly remember the long, long conversations I would have with my kind-hearted boy at bedtime. Instilling values, teaching him how the world works, how sometimes it isn't fair or kind.
At times it almost broke my heart.
And now, looking back on it all I wouldn't trade one night of tears or discussions, not one of them. Because I see that they are paying off everyday.
My heart goes out to you, though…I totally get this.
These transitions are so very hard, for kids and parents. They look big but they feel small in such an overwhelming world. Hold him tight, he has plenty of time to grow up.
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