We were on vacation, walking along the pier, and I’m not quite sure how we landed on the topic but there we were; my 6 year old daughter and I, hand in hand, talking about spanking. She may have seen a mother swat a toddler’s bottom. I’m not sure. She didn’t say. But she asked…
Why would a grown up hit a child?
What do you mean? I asked.
I mean, like when you were little and teachers gave spanks on the bottom (a story we had told her long ago).
I don’t really know honey. It was the honest truth.
That’s really sad, she finally said. Then asked, or more like, proclaimed:
It doesn’t make sense. Why would grown-ups try to teach kids how not to be naughty by doing something even naughtier to them?
I honestly don’t know and you’re right, it doesn’t make sense. Still walking hand and hand with the sound of the waves crashing on land, I marveled at both the simplicity and wisdom of her observation. My husband, who had been listening and walking nearby, offered:
Well, perhaps they think that by spanking, kids will be afraid to misbehave next time.
This time, her face scrunched up at the thought of that. I don’t get it. Why would parents want their kids to be afraid of them?
I don’t know, hon. I really don’t.
And at that, we continued our walk down the pier, and I realized there really is no good reason or answer as to why parents spank. To me, the reasons not to spank are as simple, succinct, and compelling as my daughter had so acutely verbalized.
Sometimes, all we need is a child’s perspective to see the world a little more clearly.
For more information on reasons not to spank and positive parenting alternatives, please read: Why Positive Parenting? AhaParenting.com Disciplining Your Child AAP HealthyChildren.org Should You Spank Your Child? AhaParenting.com Spanking is Hitting Afterall SeattleMamaDoc.com