So the hubs and I are planning a night away.
Our first without the kids.
It’s been almost 7 years, and not a night at least one of us hasn’t tucked them in, read books, sang some songs, and drifted off to sleep right by their side.
I’m both incredibly excited and extremely anxious about it all.
Hubs keeps thinking I’m going to cancel at any minute. He keeps asking, so are we really going?
Yes…we’re going.
We’re leaving our kids in the very capable and loving hands of their grandparents. Thank you Grandma and Grandpa!
And I know they will be fine.
More than fine. They are going to love it.
But, my mind wanders. What if?
What if one of them gets hurt? What if Little Sister can’t fall asleep because she’s used to me stroking her hair while she drifts peacefully off into dream land, her head resting on my chest?
What if Big Brother worries about us? What if he wakes in the night calling for us?
And then…my biggest what if….
What if something happens to us?
I know it’s irrational and I’m doing my darnedest to shut these thoughts out.
But they sneak in.
They sneak in when I least expect it.
Like tonight when Big Brother was laughing, his big brown eyes looking into mine. I was struck by his handsomeness. His genuine laughter and silliness that filled the air.
Our world right there.
Then again, in Little Sister’s room. Her face lit by the dim light. How her beautiful dark lashes frame her deep, dark eyes. How she still says “wittle” instead of little. How she giggles and I want to run and grab the video camera to capture that innocent 4 year old giggle forever.
Our world right here.
I know this mini getaway is much needed and way overdue, but having our little family separated…it makes me worry.
Part of me wants to say, what the heck…let’s all go.
And we usually do.
But this time it’s for us.
Time to recharge, celebrate, and bask in uninterrupted us time.
Plus?
Oh.my.gawd….we get to sleep in.
Sleep in!
Okay, I think I can do it. I’m letting go, little by little…and darn if the prospect of getting to sleep in after 7 years is what’s going to help me get through it.
How did you handle the first night away from your kids? Any advice on getting past the worry?
Pin It
The first time I left my first daughter i was a nervous wreck! I kept reminding myself that she was in good hands and things could go wrong if I was with her or not. Regardless, I still get nervous and it is rare that we even go to dinner alone. They’ll be ok, you’ll be nervous, but you’ll enjoy the time away!
The first time we had a date night in I don’t know how long…my son lost his FIRST tooth! In those short two hours we were gone. Unbelievable.
We’re going and I hope to keep the worry at bay
I hear you, oh how I hear you. I am the exact same way. I am going to Chicago for my brother’s college graduation in May by myself and I am already having anxiety about leaving everyone else at home. And the princesses will be with their daddy, so it’s not like I even have to worry about them! But it’s the separation that gets me. Like, if something unthinkable were to happen, I want all of us to be together. I know it will be ok, but wow it is scary! I have no advice other than to follow through and do it. I’ve found in my life that the things I’m the most anxious about rarely manifest in the way I’ve imagined. In fact, the anticipation of the event is always worse than the actual thing.
This is very true…anticipation is the worst part. Good luck to you too. I know it will all be fine, just gotta keep the annoying “what ifs” at bay.
My husband and I have taken a few overnight trips and I always focus on what special memories our girls are creating while we’re away. Those adventures at grandma’s house that we may never hear about but that they’ll carry forever, the constant stream of special treats and the one-on-one time my girls get to have with one another. By thinking about the positive for them and for us, it helps temper the inevitable anxiety…
What a wonderful point! They are making memories with their grandparents…I love that! They are too few and far between, so I know this is a special treat for them too!
You are not alone! I was so worried that I had our living will done before we left the first time for a mini parents only trip. We have gone once a year (to medical conferences nonetheless) but it’s still good to get some time just the two of you! Enjoy! You’ll appreciate those little ones even more!
Oh Erica, another thing I wish I had done before we go. This is exactly what crossed my mind. Morbid, but true. I know we’ll have a great time…just praying for fun and safety
I love this post! You capture the tug of war between married life and family life beautifully. So, go! Have a wonderful time with your husband. And enjoy the squeals, hugs, and kisses when you both get back!
Blessings,
Ann
Thank you. It really is quite the internal struggle, isn’t it?
Once again, you make me feel normal !! I’m not ready yet…I will be upfront and honest. He’s 2 1/2…I’m relishing in every moment right now….good & bad!
Take your time Dawn, I understand. Soon…you’ll be ready and it will be great
We haven’t had our first night away and never will. The only surviving grandparent is my dad, and he has Alzheimer’s. We don’t have any other family that lives remotely near us!
Oh wait a minute..we did have a night away last summer! Well, my daughter had the night away. She went to the camp-out at camp. She had an absolute blast! We went out to dinner and a movie. We had fun, but were nervous wrecks the whole time! LOL
That does sound like fun, but I can understand your anxiety. Hopefully, there will be more camp-outs, with much less worry
Oh, you will love it! We’ve actually been away twice for a night! Once for our anniversary when Levi was 14 months old (we were in a hotel 10 minutes away) and then another time when he was around 18 months when we went into Sydney to see Mary Poppins (the musical) and left him with his grandparents an hour away. We were so excited for our night out in the city… and we literally went to the show, had to get coffees at intermission, and then went across the street to our hotel after the show and were asleep within 15 minutes. Ha! Not the hot night out we had planned – we were way too exhausted! Oh well, we had good intentions. And at least the show was really fun.
Levi did great of course. Harder for mommy than him for sure!! It’s certainly worth it to make the effort to get away just the two of you! Hope you guys have a great time!!
Thank you Adriel. So weird that I’m really looking forward to it, but dreading it at the same time. Odd feeling…but we’re going and I’m going to do my best to relax and enjoy it
My husband and I left our daughter for the first time for more than one night when she was about 9 months old, in the very capable hands of my father (a pediatrician) and mother (a nurse) and I was still nervous. To top it off we were going out of country where our phones wouldn’t work. But since my parents live a few states away, we had already set ourselves up with a skype account. We took our laptop and my dad had his, so when we really missed our bug we simply called via skype. A quick conversation and being able to see our daughter’s smile was all we needed to be reassured and enjoy the rest of our trip.
Go, go, go! And, enjoy yourselves. I have yet to take a trip away from my little ones, but I would like to as soon as my littlest one gets started on solids. The fears and worries that you have are my own. And, I am all for including everyone on everything because we are a family. At the same time, I know that for the sake of my marriage, we need to reconnect from time to time, to remember us (if that makes sense). I hope you enjoy your trip!
You nailed it! That’s exactly how I feel when we go away, or heck, even if we go out to dinner just the two of us! I think it’s normal. Or, at least, I *hope* it’s normal.