On First Grade, Fear, and Trust

So Big Brother starts first grade tomorrow.

First grade.

I’ll give it a moment to sink in.

I know, I know…that’s what kids do, they grow up and move on. Not incredibly shocking.

But…it’s first grade. I thought kindergarten was a huge milestone…and it was. Somehow though, I found solace in the fact that he was still ensconced in a circle of his own peers.

Now? He’s out there with the “big kids”, on the big kid playground. And quite frankly, I’m more than a bit nervous.

I guess you could say I’ve got the first day of school jitters. Thankfully, Big Brother greets this new adventure with open arms and excitement. Seriously, this kid can’t wait to fly the coop.

The hubs and I however, often wish we could turn off his growth switch.

Sigh.

As I walk him to his new classroom tomorrow morning, no doubt I’ll be feeling butterflies in my stomach. He is sure to be skipping ahead, perhaps forgetting Mom is anxiously trailing behind, watching his every move.

All I can think about is his safety. And really, as a parent, isn’t that what our worries boil down to?

Will our children be safe when we leave them, wherever that may be?

Will they remember our words of wisdom, advice, and cautionary tales as they scale that jungle gym, chat up the stranger standing next to them, or run off to use the bathroom by themselves?

Will they be safe?

Will they carry with them a healthy dose of fear that prevents them from jumping off the highest rock or wandering off and losing their way?

It really is a leap of faith, this thing we do as parents…trust. Trust that our children will use their best judgement. Trust that the teachers, caregivers, bus drivers, friends, coaches, and other parents will care for and look out for our children when we’re not there.

So, this is what I will do.

I will trust.

Trust in my son and his capabilities. Trust that those around him have their eyes, ears, and hearts open to him and the other children in their care.

I will trust because I know it’s a prerequisite to letting go.

So bring it on first grade. Show my son the excitement, challenge, and adventure he’s been waiting for. As for my part, I’ll do my best to keep my worries in check and greet this incredible milestone with the same wide eyed enthusiasm that Big Brother so unabashedly displays.

Where is your child headed off to this school year? Do you find it difficult to keep your worries in check?

 

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26 Responses to On First Grade, Fear, and Trust
  1. Katherine
    August 16, 2011 | 8:22 am

    My baby is starting kindergarten in a few days…and I’m a nervous wreck.

    • Melissa
      August 16, 2011 | 11:40 am

      Good Luck Katherine! Kindergarten really is a huge milestone. Take lots of pictures, it will distract you from worrying so much :)

  2. MJ
    August 16, 2011 | 8:28 am

    My daughter Ali will begin her first year of college next week and it feels like the first day of Kindergarten all over again! She is going on to bigger and better things, but I feel like now she will see and experience more obstacles(which I know are good for her) more heartache(which we cannot hide from) & hard work(which will only make her stronger) so why am I worried? Well because it means my baby is truly a mini adult and it means she is on her way out from completely being under my wing, which I was so comfortable with her being there all these years…sighhh. Why must they grow up?! Oh that’s right because it’s what we do…double sigh;)

    • Melissa
      August 16, 2011 | 11:42 am

      I can’t believe Ali is off to college either!! That is a huge milestone my dear. You have taught her well, she is a great girl and no doubt will face these challenges straight on and always with a smile on her face. Love that girl. Give her lots of hugs for me. XO

  3. Stefanie
    August 16, 2011 | 8:54 am

    I hope he has a great first day! My son is going to first grade this year too. It’s hard to believe!

    • Melissa
      August 16, 2011 | 11:43 am

      So we’re in the same boat over here! I hope you and your son have a great first day too. Enjoy the year :)

  4. Sherri
    August 16, 2011 | 9:39 am

    I think you are so wise…and such a sweet, caring mom. No matter how hard we try to stop it, these darn kids just keep getting bigger and older. The real world has then in it’s grasp.

    I thought first grade was a huge jump (for me!) and they just seemed so “big”. Enjoy tomorrow, hold you head high, and save the tears for the drive home! You have taught him well, and now it’s his turn to use those skills.

    But still! 😉

    • Melissa
      August 16, 2011 | 11:47 am

      Thank you Sherri for your wise and kind words. Releasing our little ones slowly into the real world…it’s hard to do! I will save my tears and usher him bravely to his next step :) Thanks.

  5. Paula @ Simply Sandwich
    August 16, 2011 | 10:34 am

    You can do this Melissa! These are questions we all have swirling around in our mommy brains but the big picture is that he is really excited for his new adventure. He is going to be just fine and so will you! :)

    As for me…sending my oldest off to her first year in college and my youngest to his first year of middle school. Talk about a mommy mess…here I am! :)

    • Melissa
      August 16, 2011 | 11:49 am

      Oh my Paula! Those are huge milestones for both your children AND you!!

      Sending you a great big mommy *hug* to comfort you and hope that these transitions go well for all! Exciting and bittersweet all at once…

  6. Missy @ Wonder, Friend
    August 16, 2011 | 12:18 pm

    You have summed up my feelings! My oldest starts kindergarten next week and I just wish I could hit the growth switch, too.

    My husband looked at me one day last week and said, “It’s not like we didn’t know they were going to grow up.” And while we had to laugh at ourselves a bit, we also had to cry a bit. Why does it happen so quickly?!

    • Melissa
      August 16, 2011 | 9:28 pm

      Oh Missy just you wait. Kindergarten is wonderful but you’ll also realize how much summer is to be treasured because the next school year is just around the corner.

      Enjoy this year with your son. It’s amazing to see their intellectual and social growth just sky rocket :)

  7. Micheline
    August 16, 2011 | 12:57 pm

    Wow, 1st grade is a big deal! I can’t imagine my guy (who’s starting preschool in a couple of weeks) being that age. So much more independence, but I’m sure he will do great. And so will you!

    So, yes, I’m nervous and excited for him. There’s almost too much to worry about, so I’m trying not to think about it. The focus for now? Potty training. Ugh.

    • Melissa
      August 16, 2011 | 9:33 pm

      Preschool and potty training are two very huge milestones! Congratulations and good luck :)

      It’s so much fun to watch them grow during the preschool years. Every little piece of artwork is truly a treasure. Have fun!

  8. Cheryl D.
    August 16, 2011 | 11:04 pm

    I didn’t think first grade was such a huge shift–at first. It turned out to be a much bigger adjustment than I thought it would be. The academic expectations and the increase in homework was so shocking to us!

    • Melissa
      August 16, 2011 | 11:46 pm

      I have a feeling we’re in for quite a shock as well…

  9. Practical Parenting
    August 17, 2011 | 1:12 pm

    That is a huge transition! It is so hard to let them go and trust others to care for our babies….no one loves them more than us. But they need their wings and their own adventures so that they can come back and teach us what they learned :)

    • Melissa
      August 17, 2011 | 3:42 pm

      Very wise words Katie, thank you. He was wiped out today. Once he recovers, I can’t wait to hear all about it!

  10. Cheryl @ Mommypants
    August 17, 2011 | 4:40 pm

    Ah, first grade. I remember it well. Probably because it was last year. 😉

    The only big transitions were going from half day to full day, and the amount of homework. That, and he had to eat at the peanut-free table in a sea of peanut-eating kids, who all go out and play on the playground together. So THAT is the scariest thing for me.

    I have no doubt your little guy will do just fine!!!

  11. Melissa
    August 17, 2011 | 9:12 pm

    Oh Cheryl, yeah that would send me into a panic with the peanut allergy. How did it go for him last year? Any better provisions this year?

    Big Brother had a great but exhausting day today…I did keep reminding him to pay attention and made sure he had his classroom number memorized!

  12. Laura
    August 18, 2011 | 3:41 pm

    You’re a wise mama! My boy drove off to return to college in his new car, by himself, this morning. I’m doing a bit of praying…

    Two mamas, divided by years but united in heart!

    • Melissa
      August 19, 2011 | 1:12 pm

      Oh Laura, I have palpitations for you! What an exciting time for your son, but yeah I can see how stressful that is for a mama!!

      Yes, we are two mamas, divided by years but united in heart!! I love that :)

  13. JDaniel4's Mom
    August 21, 2011 | 11:23 am

    I think it takes a huge amount of trust to send your child off to school. It is hard not being able to control JDaniel’s mornings in preschool, but I do trust the preschool he will be going to.

  14. DB
    September 25, 2011 | 10:09 am

    I am just now reading this. (Very behind). My little one started first this year too. Have to say I wasn’t feeling as worried as last year with the new school and all. She knows her way around, knows the rules, knows the teachers and staff this year. Very comforting. Same went for my 7th grader who has been in MS a year already. My oldest started high school. Strange but that did not affect me the way it did when he started MS. I think every year is a little different – and trust is the key :). Hope the year has been good so far!

  15. Sherri
    August 16, 2012 | 12:02 pm

    Oh, my friend…these transitions are huge. Each and every one of them! And around every corner is another one, I’m afraid. We just love them and raise them as best we can, and hope that life doesn’t throw too many curve balls their way. Resilience is a buzz word in my house.

    You would think MY worries are gone, but no! Now for this year, it’s the whole moving-off-campus thing…it never ends.

    • Melissa
      August 16, 2012 | 12:44 pm

      Moving off campus?!? See…I knew it, it never ends. Just new worries. So hard every step of the way but gratifying at the same time, isn’t it?
      xo