It’s a rainy day; we sit criss-cross applesauce on the living room floor. She holds out her hands to me and I instruct her to carefully rest them on the ottoman. The fireplace is burning brightly in the background.With a steady hand, I gently paint the sparkly pink nail polish on each tiny fingernail. One by one. She is beaming.
Mommy, I love you. You are my best friend.
In that moment, something as simple as painting her nails for the first time gets me a little choked up. I smile as tears fill my eyes.
When we are done, she skips and dances around, singing about how her fingernails now match her sparkly pink shoes.
She is three, so of course, I think this is completely adorable.
Fast forward to just a few days ago…
It’s early in the morning and I’m still sipping my first cup of coffee. The caffeine has yet to take hold.
Little Sister finds a lone purple plastic egg, filled with jelly beans. A prize Big Brother gifted to her from his kindergarten Easter egg hunt.
She’s just about to pop one in her mouth when I catch her and remind her we have to eat breakfast first.
But, I want jelly beans…nowww!!
I tell her she must put the jelly beans away and that I’m going to make breakfast. She pouts and puts on her sulky face.
You’re not my best friend anymore, you’re just my mommy!
She half shouts this clearly hoping to wound me. Did I mention she is three?
Three.
I feel like I should be hurt, but I pause and almost half-smile. I have to turn away so she doesn’t see my face.
The thing is, she is absolutely right and at three years old, I’m at once astounded by how smart, sassy, and verbose she is.
She is clearly 3 going on 13.
To both our dismay, I’m not always going to be her best friend. Sure, we will have our manicure sessions, giggles over strawberry milkshakes, and secret shoe shopping trips.
However, I will always be her mom which will no doubt cause us both much heartache and tears at times.
Enforcing her curfew, insisting she wear appropriate attire to school, and becoming her “friend” on facebook are just a few of the mom duties awaiting me.
For now, I’m just grateful for the simplicity of conflict over jelly beans…for I know the real heartache is yet to come.
Enjoy being three my sweet girl. There are puddles to be jumped in, tutus to be swirled, dolls to be cuddled, and yes…jelly beans to be eaten. Bask in it.
Thirteen can wait.
*Yes, that picture above is Little Sister in all her strawberry fairy princess glory. *
Great story. I like how you comment on *not* being her best friend as an expression of being a loving parent. Well done.
aah so true, so true. My 6 year old told me "Mom, I'm always going to live with you, me, my husband and my 9 (yes 9!) babies". While this makes me smile and feel all warm inside-I know that soon I'll be hearing "I can't wait till I can get out of here! I hate your rules you're so unfair!" comes with the territory ;-p
Such a sweet post! And a good lesson for any parent about the fine line between friendship and parenthood — always a parent first, right? I'm also taking notes as I'll be entering girl-land soon!
3 and 13 can be so interchangeable! When we went to the middle school parent meeting (6 yrs ago and again a few weeks ago) the very stern, rough, male vice principal began crying (both times) begging the parents to let go of trying to be their child's friend during these middle/high school years. He feels so strongly about this and wanted to make sure everyone understood that they really need us to be PARENTS. As a mom of a tween and a teen I can tell you – it is rough but we do a real disservice to them by being a friend during those years.
No joke – just TODAY I decided that Maddie needs the reigns tightened a bit with her. She's gotten bad about copping a 'tude, trying to make her own rules, and even got in trouble with her speech therapist! She was being so defiant that she left without getting a sticker. Gasp.
The heartache that awaits…oh I am so feeling that way here as well. And I agree, appreciate how you allow the tougher parts of mothering to be seen as the expression of love that they really are.
I endure the eye rolls and the stomping feet and the anguished wails of my 11 year old on a daily basis. And every night I have to repeat to myself "I am doing the right thing. I am doing the right thing. It doesn't matter if she doesn't like me now." It is not easy.
Cherish your 3 year old days.
I am looking forward to the "you're not my friend!" talk; I was thinking it would happen later
And sassy or not, she is absolutely adorable.
So true and so sweet…but I have to say by the time our kiddos ARE thirteen there will probably be something WAY more sinister than facebook…sigh
First of all, love the outfit and my 3 year old would absolutely love it too. Mine thinks I'm the most wonderful thing in the world right now too and I am blindly hoping this will continue, although I know it will not and there will be a day that she wants to wear something not nearly as sweet as a tutu and I will be the mean one.
So true. Knowing what all will come makes it so bittersweet.
Oh my gosh. This is so much like my kid!! Little attitude, i tell you! She's three as well. This must be the age where they start testing you!
She's adorable! They grow up so fast! 13 will be here before you know it!
So sweet. What I love about preschoolers and little kids is that they are honest, and they are filled with emotion at all times. They do love you the most; and they are mad at you when they don't get their way. It's this constant explosion of emotion. Though exhausting, it's endearing.
My three-year old and I have an equally passionate, stormy relationship. My five-year old always loves his mama – my three-year old – well, he doesn't always like me…
Wonderful perspective! When The Girl used to get upset with me, she would yell, "Now I'm not going to play with you anymore!" I usually responded with, "Oh no, now I will have to go in my room and read!"
Nail painting with little girls always chokes me up a bit.
Aren't kids great? And boy do they have a way of keeping us on our toes — sparkly painted toes at that!
My two kids and I spend a lot of time together in our garden and the things they come up with are truly amazing. Endearing, curious, hilarious…but always amazing.
What a great post! She sounds so much like my daughter. I've definitely had moments like that!
Do we have the same daughter? I swear we do. Just wait until she turns 4. HOLY MOLY….
JDaniel loves to try to negotiate for what he wants. He is very good at trying and it can get trying. Three is hard.
It is bitter sweet… they grow up way too fast…
That is too cute. Really. They are so mercurial at that age. And also at 4. And 5. And counting. 😉
I read this in my email last week and absolutely loved it! Funny and very true! The key is to keep talking and have a solid relationship. That will keep you going through those few teenage years that are coming…whether you like it or not!