Have you ever found yourself momentarily shocked at the words that just came out of your mouth? Sometimes, my husband and I catch the absurdity of the things we say to our children. We stop, look at each other, shake our heads, and laugh. Mostly though, these phrases are uttered on a daily basis and have become so commonplace, they don’t even faze us anymore.
Peryl, who writes a spot on and often hilarious blog about parenting over at Parenting Ad Absurdum, recently wrote about ten things you never thought you’d have to say to your children. It is so funny, so true, and it got me thinking that I wish I could record myself one day and see what bizarre things actually come out of my mouth.
While I didn’t record myself this week, I have been jotting down tidbits from the conversations I’ve been having with my kids.
Here are my top ten parents say the darnedest things for the week:
1. Get back in there, you need to wipe your buns.
2. Please don’t lick your brother.
3. Okay, find your safe spot, I’m bringing out the vacuum.
4. Our ottoman is not a trampoline.
5. If you watch too much TV, your brain will turn to mush.
6. No, I don’t know where your blue car with the white stripe on the side that you got from Target 2 years
7. Who smeared chocolate on the couch?
8. You want the paci fairy to bring you a unicorn pillow pet?
9. You can “hustle” after dinner. (side note: hustle means wrestle according to my son)
10. Just close your eyes, you’ll get tired.
Bonus quote of the week: Yes, I guess leprechauns are pretty sneaky for hiding those cookies in the tree.
Please, make me laugh, what crazy things did you say this week?