Pillow talk

When it comes to bedtime around here, I am all business.

I can’t seem to help myself, the orders just come flying out of my mouth. Time for PJs, go potty, brush your teeth. Okay, let’s read a couple of books, say prayers, sing a song, then lights out.

Night night, I love you and I’ll see you in the morning.

I am ready for some quiet time. No more requests for water, a snack, an extra book…nothing.

Like I said, I am all business.

I have become fiercely protective of this quiet time. After all, these last few hours of the day are all my husband and I have to ourselves, and that’s if we’re lucky enough to make it out of their rooms without falling asleep ourselves.

This is our time for uninterrupted conversations, for our TV shows, to surf the internet, to write, to blog…to relax.

So, I implore you, our dear children…do not mess with the bedtime routine. Just don’t do it.

Big Brother, however, likes to test our patience.

Just when we think we’ve got him all snug in his bed…he turns to me in the dim light of his room, hair already ruffled from the pillows, and flashes his toothy grin. Then? He starts talking.

Not just talking but sharing stories. About his day, about what made him laugh, about the boy that made him mad at school that day. I can’t help but be drawn in. All this coming from a five year old , who when asked how his day was, usually replies, “good”, and that’s it.

Now? My son is full of stories, full of giggles, full of hugs, kisses, and I love yous.

Boy, is he working it and working it well.

This pillow talk of his is throwing a wrench in my strict bedtime routine, but I can’t resist it.

I just can’t.

I let him tell his stories because they fill me up, because I know one day I’ll be begging for these pillow talks but he’ll either be too tired, too busy, or too grown up to be tucked in by mom and dad.

So we just listen, my husband and I. We both know we have been given a rare glimpse into his soul.

We take turns lying there, cuddling up to our rapidly growing five year old son. We let him tell his stories.

His words and laughter are music to our ears.

He has found our weak spot.

Don’t worry, I’m not giving up my quiet time…I’m just making room for a little pillow talk.

What’s the bedtime routine like in your household? Are your kids adept at stalling, like mine?

26 Responses to Pillow talk
  1. Laura
    January 24, 2011 | 4:39 am

    I was all business about bedtime, too, and for the same reasons. You do have to protect the little time you and your hubby have. But you're so wise to make a little room.

    So sweet. Listen now — you'll crave those stories in ten years!

  2. Making It Work Mom
    January 24, 2011 | 5:14 am

    Oh he is so playing you! But how can you resist!
    I am very strict about bed time. Now that my older two are older I have noticed that on non school days parents let their children stay up later, sometimes even as late as they want to. I make my children go to bed at the same time every night even if there is no school the next day. I think routine and structure are so important. So far they haven't complained too much.
    Enjoy your stories while they last!

  3. The Planet Pink
    January 24, 2011 | 8:56 am

    You'll just have to start putting him in bed a little earlier! 😉 I'm so like you though, 100% business when it comes to bedtime around here! Mama's ready to clock out!

  4. Cheryl D.
    January 24, 2011 | 9:49 am

    Wow, that's an investment of time well spent!

  5. parenting ad absurdum
    January 24, 2011 | 10:59 am

    I was all business for five years (!) and then just recently, since my three year old moved into his big boy bed, we've hit the slippery slope to crazy-ville…. He's got a will on him like nobody's business, and when it's me alone with the kids (my husband travels) I find myself doing what's expedient (like ending up with both kids in my bed) rather than sticking to my guns. Ah well…

  6. MJ
    January 24, 2011 | 12:24 pm

    I miss those years.Though I still have my 14 yr old talker, I am so happy to say she has not outgrown pillow talk with mama, as long as I am all ears. Not to forget to mention, I miss the home made pictures I use to get everyday saying, "Mom, I LOVE YOU!" those were the best. My fridge looks so empty and bear without those pieces of love art these days. But I have a feeling I may get to relive those years through Mikayla. So I am all smiles knowing what is in store…pillow talk…SCORE!

  7. Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds
    January 24, 2011 | 12:35 pm

    Julia is really great about bedtime. She goes to bed with no problem and accepts that she is then separated from us. We've hit a little snag in that she waits until AFTER bedtime to get up and make one final trip to the potty. She's in the habit of pooping after bedtime. She does that on her own though, so I guess we can't be too picky.

  8. Liz
    January 24, 2011 | 12:44 pm

    Oh, we're hardcore about bedtime! :) And the girls know not to play games. Maddie has tried, but Kate really doesn't anymore.

    Two things: 1. make sure to stop by my blog on wednesday. 2. i am moving all subscriptions to my reader, so i just unsubscribed from your email feed.

  9. Sherri
    January 24, 2011 | 1:21 pm

    Oh, you've made me cry…seriously. I've always been pretty routine and hard-core about bedtime, for exactly the reasons you mentioned. That's the only time hubs and I have together! And as the kids have gotten older and stay up longer, it's still precious to me.

    But what made me cry is that my son, when he was the age yours is, would go on and on at bedtime, in that dim light where he doesn't have to look me in the eye, and he would talk. Sometimes? Half an hour would pass. And I listened and listened.

    And I'm so glad I did because now? He's 16, comes out to the couch to peck us on the cheek, and he's gone to his room. He still talks a lot about his day when he comes home after school and I'm blessed to be there for that time. But that bedtime tuck-in talk? It's gone.

    I loved this…

  10. Mrs. K
    January 24, 2011 | 6:19 pm

    Awww…you guys are such great parents. I love sleep and time to myself and with my husband. I"m not sure if I'll be as good as you when the time comes (we don't have children yet) but I hope I will be :)

  11. Alexandra
    January 24, 2011 | 7:59 pm

    Ahh Yes, bed time… I'm all business when it comes to bed time also, but then the extra kisses and hugs and everything else starts. I can so relate. Its so hard to resist. He have a routine it starts at 7:30p and it ends at 8:30p when he is in bed and then of course the additional 15 minutes of " can I have more water? I need to pee and all that good stuff and when he knows mommy has had about enough the kisses and hugs begin. They do know how to work it and they do it so well.

  12. Annette
    January 25, 2011 | 12:37 am

    This brought tears to my eyes. It's so hard to balance personal time with kid time…they often do mix. It's got to be so adorable to listen to your little guy chatter away about his day…what a treat! Your such a great mom!

  13. Rebecca
    January 25, 2011 | 5:07 am

    Awww…that is seriously adorable.

    Daughter goes straight to sleep (if not cajoled into jumping the night away by her twin brother).

    Son talks, sings, jumps, makes forts, and causes all sorts of havoc until he randomly falls asleep in an uncomfortable position. He will be my talker. I will be his listener…just as you are.

  14. Dalia - Gen X Mom
    January 25, 2011 | 5:10 am

    We used to try to be serious about it with our first two and it actually caused more misery than happiness. Now with our third we just go with the flow and things are much better and I now realize how short that time really is. Soon she too will be in her own bedroom with her iPod. That time is so short – take it all in.

  15. Lady Jennie
    January 25, 2011 | 6:12 am

    My kids do the same thing! And I'm so desperate for that quiet time too.

  16. Rebekah C
    January 25, 2011 | 6:34 am

    That is so sweet! I've finally found a bedtime routine that allows for "pillow talk" without making me feel like I'm going to go bald from pulling my hair out. I admit it, pillow talk is one of parenting's sweeter moments.

  17. Nichole
    January 25, 2011 | 9:24 am

    I so love this post, Melissa.
    My Katie is the queen of the bedtime stall maneuver.
    As I lean in to kiss her cheek, she peppers me with questions and reflections on our day. I feel the pull of quiet time, but these moments are fleeting, aren't they?

  18. cyclicalunemployment
    January 25, 2011 | 1:22 pm

    Omg I babysit and bedtime routines vary from house to house. you have such a cute blog!
    Katherine

  19. Mrs.Mayhem
    January 25, 2011 | 1:50 pm

    This is so sweet. Good for you for losing a few minutes of quiet time and gaining so many rich moments with your son!

  20. lulalola
    January 25, 2011 | 5:38 pm

    I love those moments you're describing. They have your undivided attention and they bloom like little flowers in the sun! And it goes so fast, these few years that we have them! Enjoy every second!

  21. TheBabyMammaChronicles
    January 25, 2011 | 6:44 pm

    So much beautiful love in your home :)

  22. Ash
    January 25, 2011 | 9:58 pm

    what a precious boy you have and he's lucky to have you as his mom. :)

    i cant wait to hear ash talk. he's 19 months old but no proper words out yet :(

  23. Yuliya
    January 25, 2011 | 10:58 pm

    Oh so sweet, and also? Time to set you clocks ahead and buy yourself some extra time!

  24. Natalie
    January 25, 2011 | 11:07 pm

    Bedtime is no joke here either…none of the kids mess with it 😉

  25. JDaniel4's Mom
    January 26, 2011 | 4:40 am

    I love that you give him this time. It is a time of memories you can share together later as well as each day.

    I hear JDaniel singing to keep awake after I have placed him in bed. I love to hear his voice.

  26. 30ish Mama
    January 26, 2011 | 4:03 pm

    I love it!! I can't wait for the day when my daughter can tell me about her day. As much as I need my quiet time I would gladly give some of it up for pillow talk!