More than a Babysitter

It’s Christmas morning and there you are, with your drill in one hand and a complicated list of instructions in the other. You spent a tedious three hours building that gigantic dollhouse for Little Sister. I could see it in your eyes, you wanted to hurl a couple of pieces out the window once or twice. But you didn’t. You persisted.

The end result? Well judging by the ear to ear smile and happy jumps Little Sister had on display for us…you did good. You were proud…and so was she.

It’s just another day and Big Brother and Little Sister are doing their usual after dinner dance. You know the one. Little Sister is swirling and twirling. Big Brother is running from room to room looking for a soft place to land.

I catch you watching them quietly. You are smiling. Tears are welling up in your eyes. I realize that you get it. You are right there with me. You understand that our time with them is indeed fleeting. You take them in and relish in their loud, sweet, and unadulterated child’s play.

Then, there was the day you spent with Big Brother. Just the two of you. Raking leaves, running errands, working in the garage, and taking a surprise trip to the park. Big Brother was clearly on cloud nine. Daddy’s little sidekick, happy to be your helper.

He always returns from those little adventures with you, full of stories. Full of confidence. Full of pride.

You do that. You encourage, support, and build confidence.

These little moments that you actively take part in? They are simply vital to Big Brother’s and Little Sister’s emotional and physical well being.

You are Dad and a damn good one at that.

Don’t ever forget that. And, don’t ever think for one second that your job, your role in their lives is any less important than my job as Mom.

Sure I may complain after a long day of dressing, feeding, and entertaining Big Brother and Little Sister. It’s quite possible I may turn into a drill sergeant at bedtime. I may act like I do everything. We both know I don’t.

They need you just the same.

That is why I am so glad I haven’t heard you refer to the days you spend with the kids as babysitting anymore.

Because, oh my…you are so much more than just a babysitter.

27 Responses to More than a Babysitter
  1. Cheryl D.
    January 7, 2011 | 1:28 am

    Your hubby sounds like a great dad! I do hate when they consider watching the kids babysitting. Dude, it's not babysitting when they're your kids! LOL

  2. angela
    January 7, 2011 | 7:03 am

    What a great post. It sounds like he is a wonderful dad, and you are right that it's not "babysitting". We had a dollhouse Christmas as well, and for the second year in a row (last year was a toy kitchen), I ended up making my poor husband a cocktail while he performed his elf duties!

  3. Jamie
    January 7, 2011 | 7:54 am

    I love this! I wish more women felt this way about their husbands and the fathers they chose for their children.

  4. Mrs.Mayhem
    January 7, 2011 | 8:01 am

    This is so sweet. Dads are so important. This is such a touching tribute!

  5. Sorta Southern Single Mom
    January 7, 2011 | 8:49 am

    A beautiful post that pays tribute to what sounds like one heck of a dad!

  6. Gigi
    January 7, 2011 | 9:16 am

    Aw, I hope he reads your post!!!

  7. Pilar
    January 7, 2011 | 9:22 am

    This is a beautiful tribute to Mike!! Your parenting partnership is a beautiful thing to watch. I always come away filled with wonder and pride after each of our visits. Your love and care for your children surely is apparent in the beautiful, smart, well adjusted and loving children that they are.
    Love You Mucho

  8. 30ish Mama
    January 7, 2011 | 10:24 am

    A beautiful post Melissa! You really highlighted the subtle joys of parenting: just watching your kids do what they do. My husband used to call it babysitting as well, now he calls it Daddy-Daughter Day!

  9. Missy@Wonder, Friend
    January 7, 2011 | 1:07 pm

    Such a sweet post. I wish I had written it for my husband. 😉 I'm forwarding it to him now!

  10. Yuliya
    January 7, 2011 | 1:45 pm

    Oh so lovely. I feel the same way about my husband. We done did good.

  11. Kristin
    January 7, 2011 | 1:55 pm

    This post is perfect and oh so true. :)

  12. ~Mrs. DCS RN~
    January 7, 2011 | 2:16 pm

    They do need that reminder from time to time! Beautifully put :)

  13. TheBabyMammaChronicles
    January 7, 2011 | 2:38 pm

    What a great post! Daddies are oh so important!

  14. flyrish
    January 7, 2011 | 3:25 pm

    Such a lovely post! It can be so heartwarming to watch a father's relationship with his children evolve and grow. And you're right — so much more than babysitting.

  15. Betsy at Zen-Mama
    January 7, 2011 | 4:55 pm

    What a tribute to your husband! I love it! I see now with my boys as teenagers just how important my husband is to them. They need him just as much as ever. Great title and picture, too!

  16. Reyna
    January 7, 2011 | 7:21 pm

    What a sweet post and oh, so true.

    Being divorced forces you I guess to realize how much help it is to have a dad in the home.

    I work with children almost every day of the week and many people (including dads) don't realize how important their role in a child's life is.
    It IS so much more than babysitting.

    Thank you for the reminder.

  17. Galit Breen
    January 7, 2011 | 10:47 pm

    This quite literally brought TEARS to my eyes! Such a beautiful tribute to your guy! Perfectly said, Mama. Lucky, lucky family! XO

  18. AnnaNova
    January 7, 2011 | 10:54 pm

    YES! i would always get so annoyed when people say "daddy is babysitting". to me it has the same sound as "mommy is babysitting", just not right. im so grateful i have my husband in our lives, sometimes i look around and think, there is no way i could do this all by myself, just no way… of course life teaches you these things, being alone, doing it all alone, but when i look at my son's face when he is with his dad, i am so grateful that this is how our family is turning out so far…
    thanks for the reminder:-)

  19. bitethebedbugs
    January 8, 2011 | 12:38 am

    It's always been a pet peeve of mine – the babysitting thing. I'm so glad you brought it up. I remember I'd have evening classes when I was getting my masters degree, and I'd be chatting to someone about my kids or whatever (if they asked) and they'd say, "And who is watching the kids." "Oh, they have a dad," I'd say. Now, had the situation been reversed and dad had been taking classes, I doubt very much anyone would have said, "Who is watching the kids?"

  20. Liz
    January 8, 2011 | 7:31 am

    Awww! How sweet are you?! Yes, the daddies out there should hold their heads high with pride because they're just as special to the kids.

  21. Sherri
    January 8, 2011 | 12:13 pm

    Oh, I absolutely love this! I, too, felt when my kids were younger that I needed to be the sole provider of "child care", and that if hubs was in charge? He was doing me a favor; babysitting. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't started out on that foot, that I had included him more from the start. He's an awesome daddy, and loves and plays with the kids in ways a mom just can't.

    This really touched me!

  22. Kat
    January 8, 2011 | 2:15 pm

    Lady, what a sweet post to read. The bond that children share with each of their parents are so special. Thank you for sharing this with us!

  23. Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds
    January 8, 2011 | 6:41 pm

    So sweet and true! I didn't know what to expect from the title.

  24. Rebecca
    January 8, 2011 | 8:01 pm

    Love it…I was so happy tonight when the Crazies bypassed me with their books and headed straight for Husband. They love him and miss him and need him with them as much as they need me!

  25. adriel, from the mommyhood memos
    January 9, 2011 | 5:46 am

    this is so beautiful! what a gift to your husband… and for your children to later read. you are so blessed with a good man! (i just can't imagine parenting without my amazing ryan. *sigh*) we are blessed!

  26. Ameena
    January 9, 2011 | 10:47 am

    I kind of want to print this out and put in front of my husband's face…he tries but really can't seem to get a grip on being a dad instead of a babysitter! Maybe he is a work in progress??

    Lovely post Melissa! And yes, we were in San Fran at the same time! Too bad we didn't know in advance…

  27. Annette
    January 12, 2011 | 12:44 am

    Yes, at times I act like a drill seargent too and seem as if I do everything, but I don't. No way. My husband is the best glorified babysitter, I mean Daddy, around. This is such a beautiful post!